"My son, stand back up. I know this is the thousandth time you've fallen. I know you will fall again. I know you feel bad, and I know you feel like there's no hope. but I need you to know that there is. and it's in Me. so hey, get up once more. look straight into My eyes, and this time.. please don't look away."
aight its time to take that step. this has been going on for long enough, and all its been doing is being a complete hindrance to my walk with God. this has been a lifelong struggle, this constant struggle with seeing girls and the pride that comes with that.
the thoughts of trying to impress girls. the habitual sin of lusting. the outer indifference but the inner romantic passion. the romantic thoughts of you and me.
i’m determined to stop. i’m determined to press forward.
i vowed not to date now because i didnt want to have divided attention, but even so.. with all this pent-up passion and romance in me.. i find myself thinking of romance more and more. there isnt a day that goes by when i dont think of you, you little noob.
but God’s changing me. this is it. i know that God wouldnt want me to give in and potentially damage my faith, the youth group, other brothers and sisters, etc.
i refuse to succumb to this romantic passion built up inside me. instead, i’m going to direct it ALL to GOD. to my Father who DESERVES every ounce of my romance, my passion, my love.
let these thoughts of romancing my sisters CHANGE into thoughts of loving YOU.
let this romantic passion in my heart that is constantly seeking worldly companionship be CHANGED into a romantic passion for YOU, my Father.
its time. its time to deny myself in this area of my life. it’s time for me to realize that for the next few years, the only romantic feelings i should welcome are romantic feelings about you LORD.
so help me, please. help me change my attitude and my heart Lord. help me, because i know its your GRACE that allows me to come to this realization. as i come to this realization, please allow me to take ACTION and really live in this grace you’ve given me.
everything. all of me. always. every day. for You Lord. be my everything.
“…people resist forgiveness because they don’t want to be prideful. Remembering how rotten they are makes them feel good, but it’s actually a subtle form of pride. People moan and groan, “I’m not worthy!” Of course we’re not worthy! It’s time we get over it and live the Christian life anyway. Living under yesterday’s condemnation doesn’t make us more humble. If anything, it keeps us focused on ourselves instead of the Lord. It’s much more difficult to humbly receive forgiveness we don’t deserve than to walk in false humility, cloaked in yesterday’s shame. When we receive free forgiveness, the One who gave it to us is honoured. When He is honoured, we are truly humbled.”—bjohnson (via samuelychoi)
man.. as i come to grips with reality.. i realize that im really not as gifted academically as i thought. a little above mediocre, at best. haha.. humbalized.. it really is a little depressing to think about..
as i get my last practice test result back and as im doing my math homework (that i dont understand).. i just cant help but feel so bad for my mom. she’s paying so much for me.. she has such high hopes for me..
ahhh.. i dont know if i can do it umma, but you can be sure i’ll be trying hard. i may not be anywhere near the smartest, but i’ll work as hard as i can. i pray that God will allow me to be the best student i can be.
maybe God has a different calling for me. i don’t know. but all i know is that.. for now, i’ll be working hard with the land i own.
who you are as an individual has a bigger impact than you think.
i’d like to consider this a devotional. just a thought that’s been planted into my head by our God recently. i pray that He may continue to help this thought grow in me and eventually let it be rooted deep in my heart.
as i grow older, i come to realize this simple truth more and more.
the more i speculate this world and the people around me, i realize that so much change is needed. a greater influence, if you will. God is the one i want influencing this world. not only influencing me, but i want God manifesting His Spirit into this WORLDS’ thoughts, motives, actions, etc. however, God uses US to do His will.
with complacency and apathy embedded into so many “Christians” today, the jaded will only become more jaded. the weak in faith will become less faithful. i think it a terrible prospect to believe that CHRISTIANS are the ones turning people away from God. when will the jaded become softened, and when will the weak in faith become strong? God can use you and me.
God wants us to live above reproach, it’s very clear in scripture. Phil. 2:15. i’ve come to realize that we make reputations for ourselves, most often based on our actions and what we outwardly express. whether we choose to acknowledge it or let it fly past our heads, people have an image of us. and i strongly believe that genuine Christians, genuine DISCIPLES of Christ shouldn’t have the mindset "forget what people think about me, i dont care. ima do me." no.. because its not about us. when we call ourselves Christians, we’re representing someone greater. we’re representing our savior, Jesus Christ.
if we’re not letting God take over, our heart and attitude may not be in the right place. and if we as Christians don’t take action upon our hearts and these attitudes.. our actions, thoughts and motives will inevitably become centered upon everything but God. and AS A RESULT of those actions, thoughts and motives, we won’t be above reproach.
nobody’s perfect. no one is righteous, not even one. BUT Christ was perfect. and it’s Christ that lives inside of us! it’s CHRIST that intercedes for us. so let’s welcome Christ and allow Him to influence all that we do.
my brothers and sisters, let’s love more. let’s reach out to the hurt, the lost. let’s not partake in coarse joking. let’s keep our talk wholesome and lets build each other up according to our needs, not our wants. let’s allow our hearts to BREAK at the notion of sin. let’s serve others, let’s take no pride for ourselves. instead, let’s live in humility towards one another. on this earth, let’s show people a glimpse of God’s love.
i pray that people can look at us, and see something living inside of us. that they may see Christ in all His glory.
LETS GO! :]
personal prayer- God.. my father. i pray that you may use me. that i may not be an empty vessel, and that you may use me to do big things. let me not glorify myself in ANYTHING, but let me give you all the glory. why? because the love placed in my heart is only a product of your love for me. it was your grace that allowed me to see.. now allow me to give my all to YOU. Father, i hope i may realize how big of an impact i have on people. my actions, my thoughts and my motives can have big effects on the people around me. therefore, let my actions, thoughts, and motives glorify you. always. please continue to cleanse my personality and mold me into who you want me to be so that naturally and effectively, i may be a light that attracts people to you. truly, be my everything God. in your Son’s name i pray, amen.
I say "GOD IS GOOD!", you say "ALL THE TIME!" ready? GOD IS GOOD!!! :DDD haha that was our little thing at our VBS ^ - ^ i think you've been to my church, i just missed it though :P not to be creepy or anything XD
hahah, nono. if youre a sister, i dont find it creepy. we’re all united by one bond.
and amen, an elementary teaching we are taught, yet still always so true and so profound.
but might i ask, whats your name? hahaha and what church?
“A young woman who is deeply, passionately, intimately in love Jesus Christ glows with a radiance that overpowers even the most noticeable of flaws. I’ve seen many a godly woman light up an entire room with her presence. To study her closely, you would not think of her as beautiful; in fact she might even have major physical blemishes that would normally be distracting. But when a woman’s passion for Jesus Christ is so deep that it is the focal point of her existence, it effervesces from every corner of her being—and she glows with Heavenly beauty. No matter what her physical flaws might be, they are unnoticed when Jesus Christ is center stage in her life.”—
God will be the only one that truly understands me, and i will really only find true satisfaction in His words and in HIS love.
when it comes down to it.. i dont need all this RUBBISH that people say to me. i just need to be led to GOD, because He’s ultimately going to be the only genuine solution.
Lord.. just constantly being immersed in Your grace and Your love is what keeps me going. im gonna RUN THIS RACE with all that i have! because unlike earthly prizes, the prize You have waiting for me is IMPERISHABLE. 1 CORINTHIANS 9:25! I DO NOT RUN AIMLESSLY and i need to constantly be disciplining myself! 1 CORINTHIANS 9:26 -27!
"I say I sing for Jesus You hear me sing it loud You see me lift my hands Like a sinner reaching out You see me close my eyes You say, “Surely he loves his God” But you don’t see all the struggles that I now fight inside”
why do i feel like i’m the only person that feels this one struggle more than any of my brothers.. ah. so ashamed. why am i going through this. why is my mentality, my pride, my heart so geared into this lust and worldly affection.
so easily infatuated… even as i vow to keep my heart close to God’s, my FLESH constantly yearns for that emotional attachment to a sister. and it’s that part of me that peeks out with almost every sister.
my own sisters in Christ in the church, in daily life.. constantly glancing, looking, instinctively.. WHY.
WHY am i becoming so similar to the punks that i don’t want my sisters getting close to or near.
why am i turning into something i’m not.
God help. please.
it’s going to be Your love that breaks this habit and this lust that has become almost instinctual.
as i reflect on this.. i think… what would my future wife think about me if she saw and knew the way i was thinking. if she knew that deep inside.. my pride wants me to find a girl and settle for that girl rather than her.
pdon: “why would i waste my time with someone else’s wife?”
so true. please let these words stick to me Lord.
Romans 8: 37 - 39 -
"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For i am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither present nor future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
i vowed not to date now, because i didn’t want to have divided attention as Paul wrote. but even as i follow that vow.. my attention is SO divided.
give me Your eyes. give me ALL of YOU Lord PLEASE. give me the passion to WRESTLE with You like Jacob did.. so that i’ll be able to sincerely speak the words that he spoke. “You can’t go until You bless me.”
bless me so i can bless You, Lord. Jabez’s prayer.
i can’t remember the last time you talked to me in a normal tone of voice. i understand you might be annoyed or mad at something but i KNOW your anger is directed at me, and youre not just venting to me.
am i that bad of a son? yeah i know, i don’t do my studies as much as you want me to. i give attitude sometimes, but it’s never without reason (although i understand i should honor you, and giving you attitude should be out of the question).
but honestly, you talk to me and literally SAY things like i’m the worst son ever. like i don’t appreciate anything you do for me. like i should just get out of the house. i understand you can be saying those things in the spur of the moment.. but is that not messed up at all? even to say in anger?
i don’t mind you being mad at me as much as i mind the fact that it’s not good for your health. your blood pressure is so high and your body is so frail. there’s so much unnecessary anger inside of you. i’m a lot better than you give me credit to be mom..
to my sisters dressing like that and allowing guys to talk to you or touch you in that manner… you need to respect yourself, if you want a guy to respect you.
i know that there will be guys that will disrespect you either way, but if you really want to get into a serious, loving relationship… you need a guy to respect you and like you for YOU, not the “benefits” that you have to offer.
sigh.. i guess i seem to bag on girls a lot LOL. but im not bagging on them.. i just want them to knowwww this. but i cant be like “RESPECT YOURSELF.” or maybe i should be like that.. in a nicer way of course.
poooo. you girls are so beautiful to the only one that matters. our Lorddd. understand your worth sisters please!
whatever. i’d choose my Savior over bboying anyday.
bag on me all you want. call me an e-boy. fact of the matter is im not coming to church to break. im coming to church to worship. lol when you called me gay for wanting to chill with the yg kids like 10 minutes before service started, i was surprised but half of me kinda expected it. i dont understand why you hate me so much. ahp well. bring on the persecution. ill take it on because Jesus took it for me.
and you. come on now. i am a sinner just like you. but the difference between us is our priorities. God’s first huh? that’s why you come in to service late cause you were breaking, fool around with me and the boys WHILE praise is going on, pinch my cheeks and call me cute while im praying, and to top it all off.. in the next 10 seconds you’re raising your hands “praising”. and repeat. i see it all the time when i visit.
is God something you can just turn on and off that easily? one of the biggest reasons i wouldn’t join the crew is because i was feeling insane amounts of malice coming from one of the kids hating on my love for God. now i just dont wanna join the crew, period.
i know what it’s like. to get in the bboy scene. the thrill, the passion that you form when you get into this art. i love bboying too. i LOVE it. but does that mean you should take your eyes off of your FIRST love? your FIRST passion? bboy and chill with the crew on the weekdays, and raise your hands and “worship” on the weekends?
i have mad love for you guys. and that’s why i want you guys to stay in the light. im not judging you. we all take our eyes off of the Lord at some point. im guilty too. maybe not to bboying, but other things of this world. seriously though.. you guys really dont feel anything wrong with this? sigh.
i dont know.. maybe im just so affected by this because i know you guys know God. and to see you guys putting Him behind bboying so blatantly just kills me.
i feel like its not my place to keep asking you whats wrong. i feel like im getting annoying haha.
just know im praying for you everyday. God will work :]. keeping our eyes on God and our focus on God may seem like the hardest thing to do and at times even the most pointless thing to do, but God exceeds everything. dont let little things blind you from seeking Him for comfort and answers everyday, because i know you’re strong. i think thats actually the key factor to why i was so attracted to you in the first place. your solid faith. Satan will take every opportunity to take hits on you.
"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him." - james 1:12.
i half-hope you read this and know its about you. keeping looking to God for everything!
i know why i love my dog so much now. or dogs/animals in general.
beside God’s and my parents’ amazing and unconditional love for me, my dog is the only other being that seems to love me in this unconditional manner.
when i come home, i’m greeted constantly by my mom with a “howd you do on that test?” or a “did you do your homework well?”. while on the flip side, my little white fluffball of a dog is dashing towards me with all her might, her tail wagging furiously and her tongue anxiously waiting to lick some part of my hand or my face.
no matter how bad of a day i’m having, i can almost always just LOOK at my dog and instantly be filled with happiness. the way i can get her attention at the mention of her name. “aigoooo berroyahh” and the way her ears perk up and her adorable eyes meet mine with a certain innocence and curiosity.
all she wants is to be petted, fed, and played with from time to time. she just wants my attention! and EVEN if i dont give it to her, EVEN if i dont treat her right, she’s still always the first one to greet me with a tackle when i get home from school.
especially now, since she’s getting old… all she wants to do is sleep. whenever i call her name, she’s always either in my mom’s room or my living room just curled up and sleeping. and as i approach her, she always opens up and looks for that belly rub.
such a simple, innocent creature. man.. God truly creates beauty. i love berro so much.
you know.. you have a knack for being there for everyone, dont you. when no one else is around. its people like you God can truly show His love through. :) ill remember that.
soccer training better be really hard anyway, or im never gonna make varsity.
haha just know that i love you leo. and God loves you so much too. never lose hope in that.
GO LEOOOO ill be rootin for you hehe. youll get there!
i dont really think its that good, namely because the original is actually kinda small. xD so it wasnt as difficult as it looks. but i really appreciate it :) thanks!
and idk about the dancing, honestly.. maybe ill have more time to learn come summer time haha. ill see.
hahaha no but it really looks amazing. :]
and sure! dancing will always be there hahaha. if you dont want to learn how to break (which is a lot of technique) you can just learn how to dance hiphop in general (choreography, popping, etc)