ehh? interesting. i’m gonna keep my eye on you, freshman. :]
God has taught me this year that He can truly melt the heart of stone and turn the rebellious back to Him.
Lord, you’ve put this boy in my life for a reason. i’ve been disciplining myself, training myself. use me, i will go!
"In the morning sow your seed, and at evening withhold not your hand, for you do not know which will prosper, this or that, or whether both alike will be good." - Ecclesiastes 11:6.
Father, You’ve been teaching me how to discern more and more like You. allow me to use this discernment in the words i say, the actions i take, and the thoughts that i think. let it all be aligned with Your will. use me, Lord. i won’t let this opportunity pass by me. i’m not gonna stand still while Your Spirit is constantly moving. i refuse.
for some reason, i seem to care about you the most out of all my sisters.
platonic or not, i feel my emotions directly correlating to yours. this deep sense of empathy. youre happy, i am happy for you. youre sad, i am sad. just a few weeks ago i was devastated, drowning in my own sorrow. why? because i know you were going through a ridiculous amount of anguish. i felt like i caught a glimpse of Jesus’ compassion over Jerusalem, over the world.
i realized that all this stems from my want for you to be happy. you’re constantly on my mind. i always want to know how you’re doing. simply put, i always want you to be happy.
but ive come to grips with the realization that.. this is merely MY will. i always want to keep you sheltered, i always want to keep you safe. i always want to see a smile on your face, and i never want to see you go through anguish.
but Jesus said it best. "… yet not my will, but Yours be done." Luke 22:42.
not my will, but God’s. if my will were to be done, i honestly would not like to see the outcome. it is God’s will that needs to be done in You. that entails all the suffering, temptations, trials, and persecutions. i would think it a downright crime, if i were to be inhibiting your growth in Christ in any way.
while i want to satisfy your wants, God wants to satisfy your needs. how truly great is our God? He is building you up to be the woman of God that He wants you to be.
so live weak, and always be seeking strength in Christ, you little noob :]. as you go through hard times, Christ feels your anguish. you are most definitely not alone. the King of the Universe is praying for you. however, i want you to constantly know that God is molding you through your anguish. Godly sorrow produces good fruits.
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:2-4.
hi you. so last night i was at marching band at my friend’s school, and for some reason i couldn’t stop thinking about you.
it was strange. as the other team’s cheerleaders were performing, i just started thinking about every thought there was to think about with you. i took a look at the cheerleaders, all happy and giddy, and i thought to myself “i wonder how many of these girls know Christ, live with Christ inside of them, and have Christ as their head?”.
and then i realized i honestly have such high standards. hmm. actually.. they’re not really HIGH. more like, they’re rare. but you will be a rare woman. :]
i was talking to pdave (my youth pastor) about it the other day, and i was just telling him how.. honestly no girls my age REALLY appeal to me. (by the way, im 16 as i write this hehe). i feel like most girls have a universal passion/wanting for so many worldly things like fashion, needing to look good, wanting to impress other guys, etc. but i pray to God that you are different. because i dont need a pretty face, nice body or impressive talents. i just want you to love Jesus, in a world of girls that don’t REALLY love Jesus. id be MOST impressed by your passion for God.
i hope you are a woman who dies to yourself and picks up your cross everyday.
i hope you are a woman who doesn’t look to me to do the saving, but a woman who constantly and always looks to Christ.
i hope you are a woman who is not afraid to get a little dirt on her clothes, is bold, and is willing to sacrifice everything for the sake of Christ.
i hope you are a woman who loves talking about God (‘cause honestly, i will want to talk about God everyday).
i also hope you are a woman who doesn’t get bored of me. :B i can get boring.
and so i’m waiting for you. patiently. like i told you in my first letter, i still face the temptation of satisfying this romantic longing NOW. but God and many brothers are keeping me accountable. i am reserved for you and only you. <3
i’m also always reminded of what josiah (a close brother in Christ who i met in high school) said to me. how his friend jen wondered why i didnt have a girlfriend, when there are “so many girls liking me”. i thought about what she said. and i came up with a reason! hehehe. the reason is, there can be a million girls liking me, but there’s only going to be one YOU.
i think about you all the time, and i can’t wait for you. xoxo kisses hugs teddy bears lollipops rainbows and sunshine. :D
i’ve always sung it loud. with hopefulness and faith. but i really thought about this statement earlier today. greater things have yet to come.
God has opened my mind and has really allowed me to realize how lightly ive been perceiving this statement. i’ve always had this mindset of “yes Lord, greater things have yet to come. i can’t wait to see greater things happen right before me! restoration, redemption, EVERYTHING.”. i feel that this is a good mindset, but i was lacking one crucial point to this - MY part in these greater things, and the discipline that that entails.
as i was riding home from church today, i found myself in an active prayer mode.. just conversing with God, asking Him questions, telling Him about my thoughts. and one prevailing thought that burned in my head was “you need to train with the smaller things, in order to be ready for the greater things.”
the more i thought about it, the more i realize how true it was. i’ve always wanted greater things to happen and for God to set me apart and USE ME, but how have i been preparing myself? if i can barely handle the small things, how can i be ready to be effectively used in the greater things? how can i preach what i have not yet eaten? (ezekiel 3:1-4). i thought about it more practically. the small things i could discipline myself in: honoring my mother. not procrastinating. treating the DTL people with more love. reading and memorizing more scripture. thinking more about the important things.
disciplining myself. “For the moment, all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” hebrews 12:11.
Lord, i want greater things to come. and i know they will. please let me not be a passive follower, as i see You move right before my eyes. use me! i will go!
after days of this vague sorrow.. this inexplicable anguish deep in my heart.. God has given me peace. it’s times like these when scriptures like hebrews 6:19 come alive to me.. He is the anchor for my soul. always and forever.
i’ve come to grips with the reality of my shortcomings and God’s infinite power. i can talk to her everyday, i can give her advice everyday, i can do whatever is in my ability to help, but it is ultimately and always God that reigns. God is the one that will soften the heart, God is the one that will break apart, and God is the one that will build back up.
as i laid in bed last night, i couldnt help but shed these tears. i can’t remember the last time i shed tears in desperation. but as i thought of her more and more, i prayed harder and harder. and for the first time in a while, i felt the Spirit leading me on in this prayer of intercessory. lifting my hands, beating the mattress of my bed, i genuinely cried out for You. and finally.. after what seemed to be an hour.. i felt Your peace Lord. that peace that i’ve become so familiar with.. yet so unfamiliar with. but i sat still. and the Spirit took it from there. as i sat still.. so many thoughts were going through my head.
one thought.. was how much anguish YOU must be going through Lord. if i’m feeling this sorrow for a sister dear to me, i can only imagine the sorrow You feel as you watch your daughter suffering like this.
the second, more prevalent thought was how much i needed to rely on You. a day into the week, and i was already acting like Martha. putting the work into MY hands, trying to tidy up the situation myself. but Lord.. i now know. i will always come to You as Mary. simply sitting at Your feet. i choose the good portion, and i know You will not take that away from me.
so.. Lord. it’s all in Your hands. i’m letting go. however.. You already know i will be behind the scenes, praying for her and looking after her haha. You already know i won’t relent, especially for this sister.
because i realize more and more that it’s not about me. it never has been, and it never will be. i feel like that’s probably why so many of my prayers have been so empty.. because they’ve always been about me, me, me. but now that You’ve opened up my eyes, now that You’ve made my heart sensitive.. i will continue to pray compassionately and fervently for the hurt and the suffering around me. Jesus wept over Jerusalem.. Jesus wept over Lazarus.. Jesus prayed for the disciples and for Your will to be done, EVEN in the midst of all the anguish. give me that compassion, Lord.
i VOW to wrestle with You as Jacob did. i refuse to let go until You bring restoration to not only this sister’s life, but to this LAND! and then when You bring it, i will wrestle with You even MORE. i will be like the widow in the parable of the widow and the judge.. constantly petitioning You in tears and with a heart of humility. i am going to be that one son that is constantly knocking at Your gates, begging and pleading for more of You.
i am so privileged and blessed to be serving such a beautiful God. just knowing that i can put all my faith in You Lord.. ahh. THANK YOU FATHER! :]. please bring restoration! i’m trusting YOU!
"Heavenly Father, we come before You today to ask Your forgiveness and seek Your direction and guidance. Lord, we know Your Word says, "Woe to those who call evil good," but that’s exactly what we’ve done. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and inverted our values.
We confess that we have ridiculed the absolute truth of Your Word and called it moral pluralism.
We have worshipped other gods and called it multi-culturalism.
We have endorsed perversion and called it an alternative lifestyle.
We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery.
We have neglected the needy and called it self-preservation.
We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare.
We have killed our unborn and called it choice.
We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable.
We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building esteem.
We have abused power and called it political savvy.
We have coveted our neighbors’ possessions and called it ambition.
We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression.
We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our fore-fathers and called it enlightenment.
Search us oh God and know our hearts today; try us and see if there be some wicked way in us; cleanse us from every sin and set us free.
Guide and bless these men and women who have been sent here by the people of Kansas, and who have been ordained by You, to govern this great state. Grant them Your wisdom to rule and may their decisions direct us to the center of Your will. I ask it in the name of Your Son, the Living Savior, Jesus Christ.
i hate when people depend on me for so many things. to be that guy. i’ll be here for you. but please don’t be disappointed in the fact that i may not satisfy all the time. because i won’t. sometimes you won’t hear the words you need to hear, simply because i don’t know the words you need to hear all the time.
in reality, i’m just a seriously flawed human being. just like you.
but in every situation, in every issue, in every struggle, i want you to turn to God. you can turn to me, but ultimately.. i will only offer the one solution. God.
our Lord. the unflawed, epitome of perfection. He knows what is best for you. people will fail, but He won’t. depend on Him. please. not me.
Date a girl who loves Jesus. Date a girl who would rather stay at home reading Scripture on a Friday night than be out partying with a group of friends. She has issues with space because her shelves are overflowing with the works of Lewis, Edwards, Spurgeon, Piper and more. Date a girl who spends her money on others instead of clothes and other frivolous things.
Find a girl who’s passionate about the Gospel. You’ll know that she is because she will always have her Bible in her bag and she’s always read to help others. She’s the one lovingly giving up her spare time to spend it with those in need, the one who lets out a silent but compassion-filled cry for the state of the world and all of His people.You see that girl sitting and talking by herself, looking sort of out-of-place, and admiring her surroundings? That’s her. She can’t resist taking time out of her day to talk to God and thank Him for His blessings.
And boy, is she ever thankful.
She’s the one who’s got that look on her face when she’s in worship, that look that shows you can tell where her focus is in that moment. Eyes closed and hands raised, or perhaps she is sitting in stillness and silence. Either way, you can see a light in her that isn’t like anything you’ve ever seen. She’s the one who isn’t afraid to fall to her knees or dance in the joy of the LORD.
She’s in it, she’s in love with Love Himself.
This girl has some serious self-respect; she doesn’t parade around announcing her flaws in hopes of reassurance or compliments. She knows that she was created in His image and no matter what society says; she is beautiful. She doesn’t need anyone to remind her. She knows how intricately created she is, placing her self-worth in Christ and Christ alone.
A girl who loves the LORD isn’t going to be caught up in pointless things. She doesn’t flip through the channels of the TV searching for the latest soap opera. She doesn’t mindlessly watch trashy movies, lusting over the lead actor. She isn’t flipping through the pages of a unrealistic romance novel, hoping and wishing that it comes to life. She’s studying and learning. She’s thinking and engaging with the world around her. She’s reading His Word and applying it to her life and how she interacts with others. This girl isn’t wasting her God-given gifts on the world and it’s pleasures, she’s using them toward the advancement of His Kingdom, all for the Glory of the LORD.
If you end up dating her, consider yourself blessed because you know God gave her to you. The LORD has selected her especially for you and prepared the both of you for each other. She’s not the kind of girl who pines for the next guy to come into her life. No, she is patient. She waits upon the LORD and His timing. She does not complain or become anxious, for she knows that Christ is her focus above all things.
Pray for her. Pray with her.
This is one of the greatest gifts you can offer her. Read the Bible with her. Tell her about the things God is doing in your life. She cares, and she loves to hear them. Teach her with the wisdom of Solomon, lead her like Moses with a faith like Abraham. She will search you to see if you have David’s heart for God. But most of all, you must love her with the Love of Christ Himself because a girl who loves Jesus is very special. She is bold like Esther, hospitable like Lydia, submissive like Mary and she consistently thrives to align her life with the very words found in Proverbs 31. Scripture is her daily bread, and she grows off of God’s consistent grace and compassion.
Date a girl who loves Jesus more than she will ever love you. Date a girl who acknowledges her God-given mission in life and the priority it has over all things. Know that God has placed you by her side for a reason; you’re in this together and God has plans for the both of you. You’re in good hands as long as you stay within the center of God’s will. This girl will keep you on the Holy path, and trusts you will be honest with you when you are struggling…because she always will. Date a girl who loves Jesus because He loves you, and He just wants the best for you.